WE FIGHT: Motivation Speech!

This blog is dedicated to all of those people, especially my graduate school friends and classmates who are feeling down or worried about their abilities in graduate school.  I know what you are thinking, who is she to make a speech like this, well the answer is I am just a lowly servant of God, who feels like this needs to be said, heard and shared with all of you.  

At this point in our lives as graduate students, we are preparing for midterms, many of us our questioning our abilities to succeed  we are concerned about our writing abilities, our reading comprehension skills, our lack of sleep and how that can be detrimental to our studies.  Well this is what I have to say, speaking to much of my own experience as a student.  

I understand how all of these things, stated above can affect a person. In undergrad I had a religious sister as a professor in the Theology department.  She was on my case from day one. For four years I took every theology class I could with her, why?  you may ask.  Because I was told she was one of the best.  What did I get in return?  I got disappointing statement after disappointing statements for this that and the other thing.  Her main concern was that my writing was not up to par.  When I told her that I was planning on attending graduate school and by my junior year I was convinced that I was going to the University of Dayton, despite the fact that I had yet applied or been accepted, she told me that I was not graduate student worthy, and surely if I was going to attend the University of Dayton I would have to step up to the plate and work harder on my writing.  Despite the fact that I pulled all A's and a couple of B's in all of the classes I took with this sister, she still did not believe I was good enough for graduate school.  This was very disheartening. 

However, despite her negativity and rudeness towards me, I asked her to write a recommendation for me for the University of Dayton.  This was a bold and strategic move for me to make, I was fearful of asking her to write me one, because despite how nice of a sister she really was outside of the classroom, I knew what she really thought of my abilities inside the classroom and I was worried of how she would portray me in a recommendation.  Low and behold with or without her recommendation and that of Father John Bakle, S.M. I still got into the University of Dayton.

Let it be known that I am not a 4.0 student, I am average to say the least.  School does not come easy to me, it never has.  Since our first assignment was due in grad school I have been struggling.  Despite my obvious and overstated struggles with writing, my reading comprehension is not strong either.  However, despite all else I am still plugging away at UD.  And I am here to stay. Going into Ohio Dominican University where I did my undergraduate work, I had the same attitude that I had coming to the University of Dayton.  My attitude was this:  I wanted to prove wrong all of the people in my life that have wronged me, many of which told me telling that I am not good enough.  One particular person once told me, when I was just a little girl, that I when I grow up, I would be so stupid, that I would be a bum and live on the streets in a cardboard box.  The other half of my attitude is a more positive approach.  I have always wanted to make my family and friends proud and show that I am worth all of the support they have been giving me all of these years, some from the very beginning of my life, others just recently within the past couple of years and yet some just from less than a year ago, yet, I want to thank all of these people by showing them that I was worth the trouble, by my success in graduate school.

This is said tongue and cheek because graduate school is difficult.  It has its challenges:  the late nights; early mornings finishing readings and writing assignments;  feeling like a failure; worrying that I will not finish an assignment on time; crying and whining when things get hard; by celebrating  the good times by going out to happy hour with new friends and classmates; and drinking yet another cup of coffee because I am so tired that I can barely keep my eye lids open, because the muscles need rest too, but I cannot go to bed, because I still have that book to read for Wednesday or that paper to read for Monday.  

In the meantime, I feel physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted.  All I can do to stay sane is to ask God for the strength and know that his will be done.  My brain sometimes feels like it has been stretched way to far to understand things that are far too complex for my small and simple mind.  


Yet we will do this, we will make it through graduate school, we will not fail, despite what others may say; especially when their words are disheartening, like sister telling me that my writing is poor or that I am not good enough for graduate school.  There is nothing wrong with being a simple-minded, poor writer who reaches out for help.  Not everyone is born gifted.  Sometimes I think we need to remind ourselves that we are not all gifted and despite how easy it is to wish we were somebody else, we need to realize that God made us to be ourselves; if he did not think we could do it, than why did he create us, or rather why did he give us this opportunity?  It is people like us that have to work harder, the people that are not naturally gifted, that will succeed because we know what it is to work, we know what is to work hard for what we want and what we will eventually acquire. We will succeed because we worked our asses of for it.  So if you are down, blue, worried, scared, stressed, among many other things, hold your head up high and tell yourself you are good enough, with or without good writing, with or without the gifted abilities.  And do you not know that you will be FINE and everything will be FINE in the end?  This is something that Father John says to me all of the time, Katie you will be FINE!  You and I will SUCCEED let God's will be done!  


Ciao, KT